[Author’s Note: Danie Caro has been hounding me for what feels like forever to write something for Behind the Whistle, to which many fellow coaches have bravely made submissions. I have no pearls of wisdom or profound discoveries, just some good ol’ fashion fun in the form of a TOP TEN list. We should start where we are now: Ten Signs That You are in Lacrosse Season. Danie – go ahead and put me down for two more of these for “Recruiting Season” and “Off-Season.” Off-Season… what’s that? #amiright
Set your grammar rules aside, tuck your judgement away and let’s share in the most wonderfully insane time of year.]
TEN SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN LACROSSE SEASON:
- You start thinking about the possibility of a Panera Sponsorship. We eat Panera in embarrassing quantities from January to May and at EVERY IWLCA Tournament. I could recite the menu in my sleep (in the form of a nightmare, of course). Realistically, how much money do you think we could save if we got Panera on board? We all have a love/hate relationship with America’s favorite bread company, so why not parlay that into something from which we can all benefit?
- You’ll ask anyone what day of the week it is.Strangers on the street. Neighbors. Friends. Coworkers. You ask so often that your family begins to think you are losing it. And depending on who answers, the response may or may not be accompanied by a look of disdain. Let’s be honest, we all know there are three days of the week: Practice Day, Pregame Practice Day and Game Day.
- Film upload/exchange headaches. I had to call on Colleen and Erika for this one. I have graduated from my film upload/exchange responsibilities and have passed them along like an unwanted family heirloom. Each game they are faced with some tough questions: What’s the internet’s bandwidth? What was the score of the game again? Did I (Colleen) check the IWLCA Film Exchange box? Why hasn’t Team X posted their game yet?? Did Team Y film from outer space?? Goodyear Blimp, maybe?
- You call on everyone you know to borrow their computers, tablets and TVs to live stream games on Saturdays and Sundays(Oh I am sorry, I mean mega game day 1 and mega game day 2). By the way, none of which are your future opponents. Expect to see at least 30 snaps and/or text messages from your friends doing the exact same thing.
- You can’t figure out if you are wind burnt or sun burnt.Caribbean or Canada? It’s a toss-up. But hey, look on the bright side. If you can’t tell, no one can. Go ahead and enjoy that not-so-healthy glow!
- You get caught wearing your whistle to dinner. Don’t be embarrassed. It happens to all of us. Some more than others but if it happens daily, you may need to get it together.
- You roll the dice with the bus company. What bus driver are you going to get for the seven-hour spring break trip to Niagara Falls? Why is he eating an apple and driving? Well at least he is trying to be healthy unlike me who spent $63.89 at CVS this morning for essential bus snacks. Included are almond M&M’s, Pirates Booty (x2), six three-packs of Trident White, peanut butter pretzels, six pack of Poland Spring sparkling water (ain’t nobody got time for the fancy stuff), USA Today, and a few essentials I forgot to pack. I digress. What movie are the kids going to watch? How awkward am I going to feel this week? And how long is it going to take for me to find my comfortable bus position? One would think by this point I would have perfected the film watching position, crossword puzzle solving position and the essential sleeping position. I need to be better. File this under “areas of improvement.” And finally, WILL SOMEONE GET ME OFF THIS BUS?
- Rubber Crumb. EVERYWHERE. Everyone has a different name for those little rubber pellets found on turf fields north of the Mason-Dixon. They have become the Nature Valley bars of synthetic turf. I have found it in my clothes, in every bag I own, shower drains and all over the floor of my home, to name a few. I have even found it in my hair (Hold tight in this judgement free zone). What’s in my eye? Oh yes, a rubber pellet from practice five days ago. And it doesn’t go away. Rumor has it that you can find it even long after your playing or coaching days.
- You use a Gatorade towel as your bath towel. My friend has hit an all-time low. I went into her bathroom the other day and where her bath towel normally neatly hangs, I found a Gatorade towel. I don’t think we should judge her. Okay so it’s me. Back off. It happened for like a day.
- Your Personal Life becomes your Personnel Life. Work personnel now know your habits better than your significant other. They know what you mean when you ask for “my sandwich” in the pregame order. They stopped asking if they can turn the lights on in the office, knowing full well you watch your film with only natural light to see the jersey numbers better. We are all a little nutty in our own ways but that’s the best part. We all accept (for the most part) our crazy antics and weird quirks. Through the wins, the losses, brutal recruiting seasons, job changes – we’re stuck with each other. I feel extremely fortunate that the line between my personal life and personnel life is very blurry and mostly gray [step down from soap box].
Well, if you have stuck with me this long, I applaud you. Good luck to everyone still fighting the good fight. Stay strong and enjoy it. Next up: Pack your sunscreen and mandatory IWLCA Water Bottles – Recruiting Season is almost here!